Flawed humans: when everyone else seems to be winning at life
"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." - Steve Furtick
How many times a day do you compare yourself to your friends, colleagues and neighbours, despite travelling a completely different path?
As humans, this constant act of comparison to the material possessions and lives of others leaves us burnt out, dissatisfied and sad.
The endless influx of information from multiple platforms, such as Tik Tok, Instagram, and Facebook, can make us feel like we are always missing out on something (FOMO) or that our lives are not as exciting as those of others. The curated nature of social media can also contribute to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt as we compare our own lives to the carefully crafted highlight reels of others.
The act of comparison often leads to unhealthy competition that can negatively impact our relationships with others. We somehow feel ‘less than’ as though we’re doing it wrong; our lives are imperfect. We open ourselves to vulnerability.
"Comparison is the thief of joy." - Brené Brown.
Focussing on our imperfections and comparing our lives to those around us, it's easy to lose sight. Living a fulfilled life is about accepting that flaws are just part of our journey, and the answer lies in focusing on what we can control.
It's easy to fall into the trap of comparison and perfection. We believe all will be fine if we can just be perfect. That's a huge weight on any human soul. Embracing the very things that make us unique, which are often those 'imperfections', we just might stand a chance of learning to love ourselves for who we are.
"The pressure to appear perfect on social media can be overwhelming, but it's important to remember that imperfection is what makes us human." - Jameela Jamil
Flawed humans
Don't get me wrong, living life for yourself is challenging in a world that seems to value conformity and external validation. The pressures of being the same as everyone else (feature wall - tick, branded clothing - tick, X number of followers - tick) and meeting societal expectations is overwhelming, making us feel like we're not living up to our own potential.
The reality is that no one's life is perfect, and what we see on social media doesn't always reflect the whole picture. The pressure to appear just-so and present a specific image can create a sense of inauthenticity and disconnection from our true selves. Remembering our imperfections and vulnerabilities make us human, and embracing them can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.
Living life for ourselves requires a sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance, where we can cultivate a deep understanding of our values, goals, and desires. It's about having the courage to follow our own path, even if it means going against the grain. It's about valuing our unique qualities and strengths rather than trying to fit into someone else's mould.
"The more time you spend looking at other people's lives, the less time you have to create your own." - Sophia Amoruso
Our individual human experience is not about conforming to others' expectations; it's about embracing ourselves wholeheartedly and living in a way that is authentic. Living life on our terms, living up to our own expectations, stepping back from 'fitting-in' and denying want we really want. All these things can go a long way to evolving a flourishing sense of self-worth that leads to a meaningful life.
Learning the art of living your own life
Cut your time social media (seriously): Limiting your time spent on social media is less time spent in comparison mode. It really is that simple! If you genuinely struggle to cut back, allocate a day or time slot and stick to it. Think about what else you could be doing with the time you’re saving.
Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad: If there are accounts on social media that make you feel bad about yourself, don’t feelbad about unfollowing them. If these are friends’ accounts, don’t worry, they don’t need to know, as you can mute them.
Commit to your own journey: Focus on your own journey and celebrate your own strengths and achievements – this looks different for all of us. Remember that everyone has their own path in life; what works for someone else might be your idea of hell and the opposite to what you need.
Be kind to YOURSELF: Be kind and gentle with yourself, especially when you're low. Recognise your triggers – what brings you down, and makes you react emotionally? Swerve it in an act of pure self compassion. Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would – in a heartbeat — give to a friend during a difficult time.
People who lift you up: Surround yourself with people who uplift you and support you in your world. Look for relationships that inspire you and help you grow instead of those that make you feel bad. Sometimes we hang on to old relationships because of misguided loyalty, and they’re not always worth the pain.
What are you grateful for: Focus on the wonderful moments, people, and things, you have in your life and nurture that sense of gratitude for them. Shift that negative perspective away from comparison and towards appreciation.
By taking these steps, you can help yourself avoid comparing yourself to others and tending a sense of self-acceptance and contentment in your own life.
Sometimes we need to turn the light off outside to find the light within ourselves
Contentment is not about having everything or being perfect. It's about finding joy in the present moment and appreciating the blessings that we have in our lives. It's about accepting ourselves and our lives as they are while striving for growth and self-improvement.
It reminds us that perfection is not the goal but rather the journey of self-discovery and self-love. So, let's celebrate the unique qualities that make us who we are and embrace the beauty within each of us.
Podcasts for flawed humans to check out:
It's Complicated with Tanya Goodin - A podcast about learning to live healthily and happily with technology and the digital world - and about understanding why sometimes that's so hard to do. Each episode asks a new guest how they can help us with the relationship with the tiny tyrant in our pocket - our smartphone. This podcast is no longer updated but there are three cracking series’ to get your ears around.
Happy Place by Fearne Cotton - In this podcast, TV presenter and author Fearne Cotton interviews celebrities and experts on how they find happiness and well-being. The podcast covers mental health, self-care, and finding joy in everyday life.
The Calmer You by Chloe Brotheridge - This podcast focuses on overcoming anxiety and improving mental well-being. Brotheridge is a hypnotherapist and anxiety coach, and she shares practical tips and techniques for managing anxiety and developing self-acceptance.
- In this podcast, author and blogger Emma Gannon interviews guests on various topics related to personal growth and self-acceptance. Guests have included Lena Dunham, Elizabeth Gilbert, and Dolly Alderton, among others. The podcast covers creativity, career, and a fulfilling life.The Mindful Kind by Rachael Kable - This podcast provides tips and techniques for practising mindfulness and improving mental well-being. Kable is a mindfulness expert and coach, and she shares insights on topics such as managing stress, developing self-compassion, and cultivating gratitude.
Not Another Mummy Podcast by Alison Perry - This podcast covers a wide range of topics related to motherhood and self-care. Perry interviews guests on mental health, relationships, and career topics and provides practical advice on navigating modern parenting challenges while prioritising self-acceptance and personal growth.
And I shared this on Twitter because ... . Thanks, Nat. A nice reminder to value myself 🙂
Really nice recommended podcasts there. Thanks, Nat. Also shared on Twitter.